The Nice Dursleys
by Lady of Quidditch
Summary: The Dursleys have turned nice?! Harry, run for your sanity! Silly fic!
1. Personality Transplant

THE NICE DURSLEYS  
BY: Lady Weasley  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I am mad that I cannot get my old computer to work with my new monitor and have been unable to retrieve the rest of 'BEST FRIENDS' and the other stories I have finished, sigh...this came to me in a dream, or my hair is braided too tight. What would happen if the Dursleys turned NICE?  
  
Oh yeah, PLEASE read my other stories too! I'll mention you in later chapters if you do...  
  
DISCLAIMER: Any characters you recognize belong to J.K. Rowling, any you don't belong to me. Duh ;)  
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The man chuckled from his windown vantage place as Vernon Dursley opened the package. "Champagne. Best I could get to celebrate your year at school, young man."  
  
"Just a touch," horse-faced Petunia warned her husband. "Poor Diddly-dums might get sick."  
  
Personally, the man at the window thought, chuckling, with his body mass he could take the whole bottle and still stay sober. He pointed his wand at the windown and muttered a few words as the bottle was opened. After the greedy Dursleys had finished it, tery went off to bed to prepare for their nephew's arrival home...  
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"Don't let the Dursleys get you down," Hermione Granger patted her friend's back. "We'll send lots of owls."  
  
Harry Potter sighed, face downcast. *Hopefully I can spend time at Ron's at the end of vacation.*  
  
Ron was carrying Pig's cage as the owl hooted and flapped. "Mom said Dad would be late picking up me and Ginny. I think she is waiting til you get picked up, so if you don't you can come with us."  
  
Harry's spirits lifted. "Good. I hope they don't."  
  
"Me too," the fellow fifth year said.  
  
But Harry's spirits dropped to basement level again, then he became very confused. He heard Aunt Petunia's voice, but it sounded....happy to see him. And there was Uncle Durs;ey and fat Dudley.  
  
Harry found himself being hugged and kissed by his aunt, patted by his uncle and given jealous looks by his cousin. "Oh we missed you, Harry-kins!" Petunia squealed. "Vernon, Dudley-dims, get Harry's trunk and owl and carry them to the car." Noticing the three open mouths of Ron, Ginny and Hermione, she smiled. "And Harry will be in contact with you. His sixteenth birthday is coming up, and you MUST be there for his party!"  
  
Meanwhile, Vernon had returned, as Arthur Weasley strode through the doors of King's Cross. He approached the red-haired man, who stepped back, slightly fearful, slightly curious. 'Mr. Weasley, correct? I would like to apologize for my behavior last time you visited. I was under much stress, and would like to invite you and your wife and children over for dinner one time, and show you Muggle inventions." He held out a hand.  
  
Mr. Weasley took it, shocked. "but of course, Mr. Dursley, we accept. As long as you still have that eckletic fireplace?"  
  
"Of course. Harry, Petunia is insisting on taking you shopping for new clothes. Come along, quickly now, God knows I hate shopping. When we get outside, let Hedwig out so she doesn't get asphyxiated."  
  
A shocked and speechless Harry willingly followed his relatives outside, wondering if he was dreaming. Giving himself a sharp kick in the shins, he soon realized he wasn't...  
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Next chapter - the Weasleys, Sirius Black and adoptions?! Stay tuned! Review if you like this story, five reviews until chapter #2! 


	2. Dinners and Pardons

It had been a week at the Dursley's residence. Harry spent his days shivering in his room, wand in hand, ready to blast them away if they got any more insane.  
  
Aunt Petunia awoke him every morning with a hug, making sure he was fed before everyone else. At the kitchen table, Uncle Vernon beamed at him. "I was thinking of inviting the Weasleys over tomorrow night. Think it will only take them a day to be able to sue our fireplace?" he asked, concerned. "Mr. Weasley said that he had to get special permission..."  
  
Harry bit back a laugh. *Relax, and enjoy this while it lasts.* he thought to himself. "It should be enough."  
  
Petunia dug out her best cookbook, and Dudley helped his father dig out the table extenders, having the four of them polish the silverware. Actually, harry had to impose himself to help, Aunt Petunia wanted to set him up in the dining room with a bowl of ice cream.  
  
Tomorrow night came soon, and exactly at two, the newly cleaned fireplace filled with nine red-heads. Arthur Weasley shook Vernon's hand, and Petunia asked how she could get blue robes - in silk - even though she was not a witch. Even Dudley got in the act, joking with the bewildered twins about having some more Ton Tongue Toffee to give to 'that jerk Piers.'  
  
Ron sat with Harry on the couch, then Ginny joined in. "How are you?" Ron asked.  
  
"Scared, but never been this well fed," Harry admitted, smiling at Ginny, who promptly spilled her can of Coke. Petunia came to cleam it up, fussing over the tiny dots that had appeared on Ginny's skirt, until Molly Weasley took them out with the wave of her wand, causing Petunia to carry on with jealously.  
  
"If only I had been a witch like my sister," she sighed, envy on her face.  
  
Charlie spent half of dinner speaking about training dragons, the Dursleys gaspeing at all the right places. Bill explained about ancient Egyptian charms, making the twins roll their eyes, then they rolled them again as Percy talked about being a diplomat between countries. Vernon questioned Percy endlessly about trades and stocks.  
  
At the end of the evening the two families said good-night, after a heated debate between Charlie and Ron about the better Quidditch team - Puddlemure United or the Chudley Cannons. Ron gave Harry a good-bye wave, and whispered 'Enjoy it while you can."  
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It had been three weeks since school had ended. Harry was getting used to his time with the sugary-sweet Dursleys. it was almost sickening, like a bad love letter, but it was better than being starved and glared at.  
  
His issue of the 'Daily Prophet' arrived, and the story on the front comver caught his eye. 'Black Aquitted - Ex-Death Eater tells Truth.' "That is your Godfather, isn't it Harry?" Vernon asked. "Read it." Harry read aloud:  
  
'Mr. Conrad Fortuna, caught after fifteen years has told the truth about what happened the night the Potters were killed. A Mr. Peter Pettigrew had been charged by the Potters to be their Secret Keeper, for a very complex charm to hide them from You-Know-Who. Pettigrew was chosen by none other than Sirius Black, for the purpose that Pettigrew was not as closely related to the Potters and therefore had a good chance of not being suspected.  
  
But, as the 'Prophet' quotes Mr. Black, "I might as well have killed them by suggesting Peter, but at school we were best friends - James, Remus, Peter and I. I never would have thought he was capable of such action then, but I see now my folly."  
  
Black, appointed Godfather of Harry Potter, only known wizard to survive the Killing Curse, will soon have a piece of his father's past in his life.   
  
The Ministry of Magic refused comment.'  
  
"Excuse me, Aunt Petunia," Harry said. "I must owl him..."  
  
Hegwig sat in his roon, and gave his fingers a playfil nip as he patted her. She shoved a piece of parchment into his hand.  
  
'Dear Harry,  
  
Amazing! After so long, I am officially free! No more hiding. Moony says hello, by the way. I managed to convince him to let me live in his basement during most of the month, except when he transforms. There is something I would like to discuss with you, if your aunt and uncle will let me come over.  
  
By the way, I received and interesting letter from your friend Ron. Have your aunt and uncle turned nice?  
  
-Sirius'  
  
Harry ran to the landing. "Aunt Petunia, may I invite my Godfahter for dinner. He wants to ask me something important."  
  
Petunia's face appeared. "Silly boy, you might scare your owl yelling like that." She thought for a moment. "Vernon wants to take us out for a family outing to the zoo tomorrow, but we should be home by five. Can he come over at Six?"  
  
"I'm sure he has all the time in the world, now that he's not running from Dementors. Thanks, Aunt Petunia." Harry ran up to his room, almsot tripping over Dudley.  
  
"Sorry, Harry," Dudley panted, catching himself on the wall.  
  
"No, my fault entirely. All the magic in the world and I cannot see right in front of me." Dudley laughed, as Harry walked more sedately back to his room.  
  
'Sirius -   
  
My uncle has some family thing planned for tomorrow, but my aunt says be here by six. Hope you ca make it.  
  
I also hope you can find out why they have been so nice to me. Not that I liked them being mean, it is just scary.  
  
-Harry'  
  
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The zoo was a grand trip, as the reptile house was empty and Harry was the mediator between a corn snake and Dudley, who wanted to know about tis life and habits for his school project. The snake was very happy to help out, as long as she was given credit.  
  
When they arrived home, the Dursleys dressed in their finest garments, Harry attempting to tame his hair. Promptly at Six there was a small pop in the living room, and there stood Sirius.  
  
He had gained lots of weight since Azkaban, but much was muscle. His black hair was short and slicked back, In good taste he had worn Muggle clothing - a polo shirt with a sweater over, and slacks with...Harry squinted...combat boots. He stifled a giggle.  
  
Petunia ran over nad hugged him, causing Sirius to step back in alarm. "I am so happy to finally meet you! Harry has told me so much about you. I remember your face from the pictures Lily sent me."  
  
"She was very dissapointed you could not make it on her wedding day, but she understood. Things come up," Sirius shrugged.  
  
Petunia's eyes leaked tears. "I regret it every day." Vernon put an arm around his wife.  
  
"I am sorry too, but this is a happy time. Now let us eat that wonderful meal Petunia prepared." She wiped her eyes and smiled. Dudley sat on Sirius's other side, asking what it was like to be on the run. Harry was about to try and change the subject when Sirius, grinning, talked about his time of travelling, one step ahead of authorities.  
  
"How's Buckbeak?" Harry asked halfway through the meal.  
  
"Fine. I set him free on the island of Crete. I think he'll like it there," Sirius said. They ate, chatting about simple topics.  
  
After dinner, Petunia pointedly chased Dudley and Vernon out of the living room.  
  
"So, what is it that you wanted to discuss?" Harry asked. Sirius cleared his throat nervously.  
  
"Before I was captured, I had a significant amount of gold in the bank. It stayed there, collecting interest, and only what was used to buy your Firebolt was ever removed. Remus got a job in Hogsmeade, with an old friend who doesn't care if he was one of Hagrid's Blast-Ended Skrewts, as long as he can help catch boggarts, grindyglows and hinkypucks to be sold. I bought a house there, and promised to let Remus crash, until he gets entirely on his feet. That means I can visit you more often during the year. I also got a job with the Ministry, I am amost thinking that is an apology by Fudge." Sirius stopped talking.  
  
Harry was confused. "I mean, it's not like I am not happy that I'll see you more often or anything, but why did you need to discuss it with me?"  
  
Sirius recleared his throat. "I am financailly stable now, and have a home, and a job. The one thing I regret was giving you up to Hagrid to come here. I want to fix my mistake now."  
  
"Harry, I talked it over with the right people, and I want to adopt you." Sirius looked into his eyes.  
  
Harry was stunned. "A...adopt me? My father's best friend?"  
  
"I knew you'd hate the idea." Sirius's eyes were downcast.  
  
"N...no, I love it!" Harry hugged his godfather, now adopted father tightly.  
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Aww! Time to gag yourself ;)  
  
Next chapter - birthdays and the World Cup, five reviews until chapter #3! 


	3. Party Time

Quick note: PLEASE read my other stories too, I beg of you! Please? I'll mention you if you ask ;) I really will need extras in 'Best Friends,' hint hint :D  
  
OK, beg session over, this is dedicated to everyone who has reviewed.  
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Harry was so filled with enotions that he wasn't sure if he should laugh or cry. Life would be the way it should have been after his parents' death - being raised by Sirius. After the tears started to fall, Aunt Petunia - who had been spying from the kitchen after sending Dudley and Vernon out - dashed into the living room, with a box of tissues. She squealed happily at the news.  
  
"But Sirius, you must allow Harry to stay here for his birthday! I have quite the aprty planned and I would hate to have to dissapoint all his friends. You are invited, of course, as well as that teacher Harry had in his thrid year - the one you know." Petunia was almsot jumping down in excitement, then gasped. "How will we hide all that magic? I don't want the neighbors to know!"  
  
"Don't worry, I can handle a few spells to hide any detection by Muggles," he reassured her as her face broke into a grin.  
  
"Only three more days!"  
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Harry Potter had not had a birthday party since he was a year old, and now saw that he had been missing much. All of his friends were there - Hermione and Ron were with him, sharing secret grins and peeking at his pile of presents; the twins putting canary custards among the table of snacks, and Sirius picking up one; Hagrid was talking to Remus, as the werewolf was nodding quickly and laughing; Ginny was furiously blushing as Harry smiled at her and waved; Percy was talking to Bill and Charlie was moving away. With a bit of magical help, the living room now held fifty people.  
  
The presents were good too - a box of Ton-Tongue Toffees, a fake wand, Fillibuster Fireowrks and dungbombs from the twins was the most fun. Hermione had given him his own copy of 'Quidditch Through the Ages' and Ron had bought him a pair of gloves 'worn by the best Seekers in Britian.' Harry also received a great mix of Honeyduke's candy, his very own Golden Snitch, and an autographed picture of Puddlemure United, wth Oliver Wood grinning and waving furiously.  
  
His best presents were notes of IOU's - from Charlie there would be a weekend trip to Romania to see wild dragons, from Hagrid there was the promise of helping him pick out winged horses for the school during the year.  
  
But Sirius's present was the best. Opening the envelope after everyone had left, he saw...  
  
"World Cup tickets?! How did you get them?!"  
  
"Cornelius Fudge. I told you, he is under my thumb for now, feeling bad about my imprisionment. I'm not sure how the Committee of Magical Games and Sports managed to convince him to put me in their department, but Ludo Bagman is great. The whole Weasley family got tickets too. There's one here for you, me, Hermione and Remus."  
  
"Aw, I get to got too?" Remus grinned, lounged on the couch. "It's not fun when I can't sit there praying for you or James to go flying off your brooms."  
  
"Hey!" Sirius glared, them laughed as well.  
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Harry moved in with Sirius. He sort of missed the Dursleys, but not much. Two weeks before school started - the Quidditch World Cup. Tanzania against France, with the game held in Ireland. It was a treat to watch, as the game went on for three days until Tanzania, with a mightly jump, won by twenty points at 4:56 PM.   
  
Returning home, a trip to Diagon Alley was planned to pick up school supplies. Now that there were only two Weasley kids to support - with Percy engaged and living with Penny, and Fred and George living above their joke store, and Bill and Charlie back at their jobs, Ron and Ginny were showing off their brand new robes, made just for them.  
  
Now it was only a week til school began. Though he lived in Hogsmeade now, so close to school, Harry couldn't not take the trip on the Hogwarts Express, so, after an owl to the Leaky Cauldron, he reserved a room.  
  
But before school began he decided to say good-bye to the Dursleys.  
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The man at the window watched the Dursleys, as he did many nights. Harry was safe, and now changes had to be made....  
  
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Next chapter - Epilogue and the secret to the man at the window, five reviews until chapter #4! 


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